how to get a thigh gap
- put a guys head between your legs
OMG, this is so random but I bought the Clinique Bottom Lash Mascara a little over a week ago even though $10 for what is essentially just regular mascara seemed RIDICULOUS but I’m nothing if not a money-waster. Um, LIFE CHANGER. Okay that may be too intense. But I absolutely love it. Most days I don’t have time to mess with it when it’s so quick to use my regular mascara, but when I take the time to use this my lower lashes look fabulous (and kinda like perfect fake ones, as you said). So yeah, basically $10 for a tiny brush but I’m sold. (But yeah, I hate elf mascara but I’ll give theirs a try, I mean they’re just lower lashes, how different can it really be.)
I screw up my makeup all the damn time. It’s pretty much a given that the less time I have to leave the house, the more catastrophic my makeup application will be. I do not work well under pressure. My cat eye will look like I applied it at an EDM dance rave full of older white men erratically dancing near me with their arms. I also suffer from a variety of blunders that I’ve encountered when I have TOO much time on my hands…aka “watching The Bachelorette and popping my face.” Okay. I’ve gotten really into The Bachelorette. It’s basically watching a really pretty lady getting confronted by these horrifying cyborgs that GQ created but didn’t have enough time to install the brain programming or something so they just had them recite things Matthew McConaughey used to say when he was in romantic comedies. “Hello you are beautiful. Hello nice lady, would you like to go picnic in Connecticut?” There’s a whole episode that’s just like, “we’re in Connecticut.” It’s bonkers. Anyway, I’ve compiled a list of both products and tips I use when I fuck up my makeup. Thank you, nice ladies:
THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS.
I was going to let this sit until tomorrow when I (one would hope) might be thinking more clearly—but my anger over the absolute ruination of what is quite probably my favorite sitcom of all time is 100% justified, so I’m going to slam this down right here and now.
Ted and Robin…